Power of Relationships

Power of Relationships   

Relationships - haven for growth and companionship          
in good and tough times
Photo: EJP Photo   

Shakespeare’s words, “No man is an island” can be paraphrased as: “man was made to live as a community”. With community support, people individually and jointly thrive and grow to their highest productivity. Networking through Facebook and Twitter is a start, but solid relationships are built beyond cyberspace. After all, in prosperity, your friends know you; and in adversity, you know your friends.”

Joint Capacity in the New Normal

Forging new relationships and cultivating existing ones are key in today’s “new normal” of turbulence. Many challenges exceed our individual capacities. Collective vision, joint problem solving and pooled resources increase resilience to deal with issues in personal, work, community or national spheres. When challenges are faced on a collective front, we are more secure, confident and astute, and stamina increases. We begin to see problems as enablers in our journey towards destiny. A workaholic with no friends has little to fall back on when things go wrong.

The universe is held together by complex
relationships between planetary systems
Image: xenuth.com 

Our world is held together by natural laws eg. of physics, chemistry, biology. These laws embody relationships. The law of gravity specifies the relationship between bodies on earth and the earth. Such tightly woven laws give creation its resilience.

Brains and Ecology

Our minds are designed with a bias for relationships. Alzheimer’s disease is generally a serious degeneration of brain cells and neural connections among the elderly. Normal brain functioning is impeded with the slowing and breaking down of connection between thought, action and behaviour. Research has shown that when Alzheimer’s patients make friends and build relationships, new neural connections are formed! The patient then shows some (albeit small) signs of recovery. Even Alzheimer’s patients become more resilient with friends.  

Ecology in its natural state,
has balanced resilience
and ample fruitfulness  

Ecology is one complex web of relationships between flora, fauna, humans, and the earth. Violate the relationship and ecological imbalances occur. Sustain the imbalance and disasters like global warming take place. Innate and symbiotic resilience manifest when interlocking relationships in nature are upheld. The same holds true in business or economics.

The elite SEALS give and receive help from
one another in the most extreme circumstances
Photo: www.sharegoodstuffs.com  

                          

Quality Control for Relationships

The quality of relationships is determined by our level of openness, interaction and commitment. It thrives when there is:

-                   Reciprocity

-                   Accountability

-                   Emotional Support

-                   Balance

For one reason or another, many are better at giving than receiving help. Where do you stand? Does ego get in the way? Giving and taking within a context of commitment, calls for honest self examination. What have I done or not done? Have I been fair?  Should I have done more? What should I have done less?

Foundations and Social Networking

Such in-depth relationships can only be maintained with select and trusted friends in personal, work and community life. Big Tweet followings or record Facebook “likes” do not equate with deep quality relationships. They however, give us a viral span of reach for varying degrees of engagement, predicated on the foundation of deeper, well-cultivated relationships. The wider the reach, the stronger the foundational pillars need to be.  

Stakeholders and Self Protection

For companies, investing time to engage key stakeholders, (not just shareholders) builds strong brands and protect the right to operate. Pepsi built relationships with the people of Kerala in India by drilling borehole wells during pressing water shortages. They later went on to recharge ground water by pumping water into the water table, to address dropping ground water levels.  Pepsi twice survived political pressure for their plant to be shut down as a result of water shortages. The second time, the community spoke up in Pepsi's defense on account of the goodwill and relationship it had built with the people…because they looked beyond corporate interests.

Likewise, when nations go beyond solus national interest, adopting the rules of reciprocity, accountability, emotional support and balance (fairness), will we see more resilient economies and a better world? Just as global epidemics need concerted joint action, and re-examination of health systems at all levels, is it not time to look at the economic ecology to see if there have been excesses and deficiencies, imposed or inherent? How has that hurt less visible and weaker players? What can be done to address that? Correcting economic relationship problems will herald global economic resilience and recovery – is that not what we all hope for?

Well, enough has been said, what will we do about it? What will we do with our friends? 

Fair trade sustains the global economy 
Photo: AP 

I would love to hear your comments and views….do drop a line or two. 

Join me for the next week’s blog on “Money and Relationships”

Stewardship Multiplies Resilience

Time - stewardship makes greater difference than talent
Photo: www.studentvillage.co.za

How does stewardship create a multiplier effect on resilience and fruitfulness?

Time, Relationships and Money

Stewardship in 3 areas will make an abundant difference to build reserves and enable us to bounce back from challenges and adversity - like an evergreen tree planted by the riverside, laden with fruits all year round.  

Time as Asset

Time is a valuable asset that is often underrated. Yet, so important as a core element in Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. So profound that no one has adequately defined it. Time has a powerful cumulative multiplier effect, creating value or liabilities depending on our choices. If we invest time to build new knowledge, skills, networks and goodwill, we will have plenty to fall back on when pressing situations come. Borrowing the analogy from the theory of relativity, time will “travel” more slowly when we can do things better and faster. Hence we have more freedom to enjoy leisure with family and friends.  

Surpassing Talent

Initial advantage from talent
but does not determine final outcome
Pix: http://shortstory.com 

What are the three most important things you would like to have done at the end of your life? How have your days been invested on these goals? Well directed use of time surpasses poorly used talent just as the proverbial hare saw a shock defeat by his tortoise rival. 

Genius of Generous Time

George Washington Carver dedicated his time to research and discover more than 300 uses for the peanut and many other crops to help his fellowmen diversify crop farming, recover from cotton crop failure and to tide over the Great Depression of 1929. Multitudes were impoverished by the dire agricultural and economic collapse. Carver, however, became very rich despite freely sharing his knowledge and turning down today’s equivalent of a million dollar salary. Why? He wanted freedom to help his fellowman and to create new value as he saw fit.  

Vision and Risks

Have a vision, determine to make your life significant at work, home and community. A man skilled in his work shall stand before state leaders and kings. Consistently invest time to realize that vision. Influence, esteem and elevation will come.

 There’s a saying: “You never know how far you can go till you risk going too far”. Those who allow negative self-talk to dominate in their heads never realize their destinies because myopia clouds opportunities.

Mental rehearsals give added precision
and confidence to the surgeon's hands
Photo: Asian Institute of Medical Sciences

Mental Surgery

Visualize yourself realizing dreams, picture the steps you would take. Renowned surgeons do round after round of “mental surgery” to prepare for complicated procedures.  They anticipate details and complexities, practicing critical scalpel strokes, visualizing success. That is how they reach and stay at the top. Executing delicate moves under great pressure, life and death at their fingertips for hours on end, a deep sense of satisfaction surges through sweaty brows with each successful operation. That is how and why they keep coming back for more duress-success stories.  

Enjoy and be Transformed!

The truth is that you cannot afford to keep doing things you do not enjoy. It soon becomes drudgery, which saps your energy, creativity and productivity. Take breaks from your normal routine, do something creative, different or crazy, something you want rather than have to do. Do this regularly and the mind becomes more active and innovative! People will notice a happier you. Keep at it and the positive gradient of life steepens. Turnarounds do happen, not just for the fortunate few but for ALL good stewards of time. 

Little celebrations uplift us

Spend time to celebrate little achievements and victories, or simply the presence of friends and loved ones. Celebrations recharge and refresh and renew even if it is just nice words over a cup of coffee.

Time has the capacity to catalyze transformation.

When that happens, breakthroughs are at hand!

Join us next for next week’s post on Relationships for Resilience 

Thriving beyond Adversity

Ice could not stop these pretty blooms
Photo: Alaskan Mom

My take on resilience is the ability to grow and thrive in adversity.

This is not about gritting your teeth and barely scraping through tough times but renewed perspective and a renewed heart honed out of crises, predisposing oneself to higher ground.

People and organisations alike, contend with self imposed limitations based on our comfort zones, thresholds of tolerance and degree of reluctance to change. Crises often leave us with no choice but to adapt and change or face dire consequences and even loss of life. Tremendous energy is released during crisis – by the situation, forces of nature, by efforts of people to make it through and overcome. There is heightened sensitivity, and people often have to face up to reality which they have been avoiding all along.

Growth and Healing

These powerful moments of truth are watersheds to growth. With acceptance of the situation, comes healing which enable muscles to heal and grow stronger, refocused eyes which see further and minds which perceive more. We suddenly realise that we have grown, and risen to the occasion, sometimes making unexpected heroes of ourselves in the process.

The bamboo's resilience comes from
flexibility not hardness 

Opportunities for Japan and Thailand

I believe that the challenges that post March 11 tsunami Japan faces can yet forge a stronger people and build a renewed society. So can the Thais, amidst the faults lines that have emerged in the political landscape. The opportunity to heal and bridge remains despite the political chasm.

Positive Change for Companies

In the company setting, crises present opportunities for positive change. Leaders can ride the powerful waves and momentum of crisis to implement much needed changes. Resistance is likely to be much lower in the process, because people are already shaken out of their comfort zones and in motion rather than inertia. Miss the window and inertia quickly sets in once people adjust to the resumed normality, and the organisation may gradually atrophy because people have not adjusted to the post crisis "new normal".

Imperative for Change and Growth

Emerging radiant from a cocoon              
of rapid change and a crisis of identity

We can change and grow in crisis. In fact we have to!

Caterpillars resent the tremendous change and discomfort of metamorphosis but failure means death for the morphing caterpillar! Complete the process, and the end result is a butterfly beautiful to behold. Transformed from a once crawling, ugly caterpillar vulnerable to birds and insects of prey, now endowed with graceful flight and a diet of sweet nectar from pretty flowers.